Finis

Coming back to Igatpuri, feeling a bit like Dorothy after Oz. How to explain anything? Totally overwhlemed. After a couple days, to Bomaby with Alastair and as we eat tasty food and shop for gifts and goods and consider movies and Internet, I begin to feel waves of disgust coursing through me. These are all the things that keep me tied down, what am I obliging any of them for? When I head out for an errand I feel so confused with what to buy and not buy and do and not do. Sometimes on the yatra I would be just about to dig into a meal, when Bhanteji would instruct, "now you are eating. Eating meditation. Be aware, no craving, no aversion." Like my first course, and my first period of long-term service, I begin to feel confused how to integrate everything I've learned into daily life.


My last day I go up to Santa Cruz, part of northern Bombay, and eat lunch with an Indian meditator family, at their home. With Alastair and another meditator Brooke, we go to a mall, walk to the beach, and oblige two Indian families with photos as Alastair joins a soccer game on the sand. I drink fresh coconut milk and watch the super large Indian sun setting at the horizon and feel pangs that I'm leaving in a few hours. We head back to our friends' house, and make plans to see a movie. I must take my bags with me to the theater. In the street now we get more dirt cocktails and have unpleasant negotiations with taxi drivers, as we try to avoid the chaos and commotion of the road frenzy. We get into one taxi, get our bags in the trunk-- no easy task-- load into the seats and just before driving away the driver offers an absurdly high price and won't negotiate. We get up and take everything out, I cut my hand taking the heavy and cumbersome bags out and we head back into the crazy street late for the movie and trying to hail another cab, wiping up the blood from my hand as a friendly Indian buys me a band-aid. Now I can't wait to get out of this madhouse. India is like that. The extremes keep at you. I've been far more equanimous with them this time. Here is a great shot below of what looks like four great life-long buddies... really they just wanted my picture...

We watch the movie, Crash, then head to a swank Arabic restaurant on a rooftop overlooking the city. Past midnight I find a taxi with the help of some Indians, he swears he will go right to the airport and use the meter. But when I arrive, he tries to charge me double. I've arrived far later than I wanted for my 3 a.m. flight to London, and don't want a long drawn out discussion. I threaten to call the police and start to do so and use very harsh and strong words to pay the correct amount, give him this fare and then smile and say "Be happy." Later I reflect that in my initial taxi from the airport, the driver also tried cheating me. India has bookmarked itself nicely. Then I leave, walk bleary eyed around London, get on the plane for Denver and a passenger collaspes and nearly dies, we make an emergency landing at a military base in snowy Newfoundland, and somehow now I'm back in Colorado, having spent all day writing nonstop about the yatra before it all gets forgotten. Was it worth it? Anyway, off to Boulder in another day for work at the University and SIT requirements.

'Ananda, there are four places for people who are confidently treading on the path of Dhamma to visit which may further inspire them in Dhamma. What are the four? "'Here the Tathagata was born!' This, Ananda, is a place that a pious person should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence. "'Here the Tathagata became fully enlightened in unsurpassed, supreme Enlightenment!' This, Ananda, is a place that a pious person should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence. "'Here the Tathagata set rolling the unexcelled Wheel of the Dhamma!' This, Ananda, is a place that a pious person should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence. "'Here the Tathagata passed away into the state of Nibbana in which no element of clinging remains!' This, Ananda, is a place that a pious person should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence. "These, Ananda, are the four places that a pious person should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence. And truly there will come to these places, Ananda, pious bhikkhus and bhikkhunis, laymen and laywomen, reflecting: 'Here the Tathagata was born! Here the Tathagata became fully enlightened in unsurpassed, supreme Enlightenment! Here the Tathagata set rolling the unexcelled Wheel of the Dhamma! Here the Tathagata passed away into the state of Nibbana in which no element of clinging remains!'

As I think about it now, I realize hey, I really miss that devotional aspect. It felt good remembering the qualities of Triple Gem and what it means to take refuge in them. I have a feeling Goenkaji did not stress this aspect as much as he might during the courses for fear that negativity might come with new students, as it could easily get misinterpreted as a kind of sectarian thing. I also contemplate how after many courses and daily sittings, I had come to say I was getting healthier, feeling better, getting clearer-- suddenly it dawned on me who is becoming this way? Why, I, me, myself-- and what an ego-centered thing yet again. It's still all about me, this attachment to the I, wishing it to be a certain way. Oh, how wonderful, the I is getting purified... An extreme selfishness!

When in India wanting some space, some quiet, a break from its chaos, and once out, the culture shock sets in-- why in the world do we keep our cows behind fences? Why can't I walk in front of a speeding car to cross the street? Why are there so many more facades and masks in this country? Why can't I still give that Indian shake of the head that can mean something, anything, or nothing, can mean yes or no, or anything else? Ah well.

Here are the different photo albums...

Bohdgaya

Travel

Savasthi

Dhamma Giri

Bombay

Rajgir/Vasili

Kushinagar/Lumbini

All Albums together


And a last note-- for anyone so inspired, this yatra may well repeat itself next year-- make an aspiration if you can come!!!