Puns

Take a look at these pictures below... this is where I stayed in the downtown Loop section of Chicago during my month of work there...

NO, silly, of course that's not where I stayed. But it actually was in the Loop, very close to where I stayed, and I did see it. The only difference is, it was on exhibit in the Art Institute of Chicago, and each of these rooms are barely a foot in height and depth! Here is an actual photo of the condo where I stayed...

And here is another photo I took at the Art Institute I found very humorous (to the left). Usually in New-Age type magazines where they market the mystic Eastern yogic and meditative practices, they have these people in peaceful poses of relaxation and joy. When really truth-in-advertising meditation should show the sitter hunched over in some way... which is what I liked about this statue... and feeling like some limb is just about to fall off!

And finally-- this one below is one of the cooler photos I've taken in black and white, at Millennium Park, also by the Art Institute on one very cold November night. I took it first in color and it just seemed to cry out for B&W... just check out these contrasts of lights and darks...

The Middle Path: Trying to walk that razor's edge

I spent a little over two weeks after the Vipassana meditation center in Pecatonica, a very small town outside Rockford, Illinois. I served a ten day course and then stayed on an additional week, giving some Dhamma service. It is a really beautiful center and promises a new experience of anicca everytime one visits, if only for how radically it changes from one season to the next! I was there later in the fall season for the first time, around the middle of October, for a short three day course that I attended as a student. Then I worked a maddening but very rewarding four week intensive ESL Teacher Training course in Chicago before returning again.

I realize I'm coming out of a rather long and painful sankhara (I hope!) of the meditation seeming more like a duty than the dynamic exploration of self and mind that it promises to be. If there's even that tenth of one percent rebelling against the purification process, it can be just excrutiating to continue. But even this one tenth is also anicca, also arising and passing! (though it sure may not seem like that at times) To stop allowing one the indulgence of rolling in thoughts and thought patterns can be as scary as jumping off a big cliff and trusting you'll be taken care of-- it's like an escape from the comfortable and familiar patterns of the ego and the years and years of conditioning, that desparately don't want to have to accept what destruction and suffering they can produce on one's life. Like guests in a house that suddenly wish to be the owners, or spybots on a computer that force it to function in unproductive manners... but to see them for what they are, and then that freshness of the moment can get restored!

"O foolishness of man to seek
Salvation in an ordre logic
O cruel intellect that chills
His natural warmth until it kills
The roots of all togetherness!"
-- W.H. Auden, New Year Letter

Here are some pictures of the cold! The walk to the dormitory above, and the very frigid conditions reflected on my face below!!!

Question: I can understand meditation will help maladjusted, unhappy people, but how can it help someone who already feels satisfied with his life, who is already happy?

"Someone who remains satisfied with the superficial pleasures of life is ignorant of the agitation deep within the mind. He is under the illusion that he is a happy person, but his pleasures are not lasting and the tensions generated at the deep levels of the mind keep increasing, to appear sooner or later at the surface of the mind. When that happens, this so-called 'happy' person becomes miserable. So why not start working here and now to deal with that situation?"
--S.N. Goenka, modern teacher of Vipassana meditation

I think about how agitated I got during the Teacher Training course when I had to buy a plane ticket for 2006, and I became convinced the cause of this agitation must be the fact that I hadn't yet purchased the ticket. And then once I did, all that anxiety remained intact, only got shifted over to figuring out exact employment notes for spring 2006. Hours and energy I didn't have went in to this conundrum as well. And then I suddenly realized I had been bamboozled again! My own impurities within and here I was trying to rectify eveything outside. So I started observing sensation, respiration again, again...

Much of the last week I spent alone at the center, and it seemed about as long as the previous ten days. I had met such a host of very interesting and inspiring people, and now I was with myself again :) And watching the geese that came closer and the muskrat who would hit the graceful birds in the backside like a torpedo nearly had me doubled over in laughter. And the more I found myself being able to give, the greater depths of selfishness I began to discover! O dukkha, dukkah...

Now back in Colorado but leaving shortly for a drive through the Southwest (and a cool looking onsen in New Mexico) to Los Angeles. The weather keeps getting warmer!

Here are two more photos below, both of the mens' waiting area just outside the meditation hall. So beautiful that it pulled many a new student away from the timetable of the camp! The first is taken inside, the second outside...

Leaving the city again...

Well, the intensive month is over, and I'm on my way again. Not much to say since pretty much all of my time the past month has been totally monopolized by the course. It's been a great time and I'm definitely glad to be moving in this direction of doing even more of them. One thing I realize from this is the great maxim that you don't really know how well you know something until you have to teach it to someone else. I found that out over and over again this course! Some things I surprised myself with how well I knew and could talk about, a whole bunch more that I thought I knew pretty thoroughly, but when it came time to plan a session around it, all kinds of holes and gaps showed themselves. The participants gave me a lot of motivation and even some insight as far as the ESL classroom goes, and I'm excited to experiment with some of the recent things I've learned. This particular group rather spoiled me, they liked each other so much and made the classroom like one big community where everyone was so interested in learning and, what is more, making sure their co-learners were also doing fine. It is remarkable how much better people learn when they are in this community and cooperating, rather than competing under a system imposed by the Teacher.

Now the travels continue, alas, and Wednesday I move on to the Vipassana center (again) in Pecatonia, near Rockford, Ill. I will serve the upcoming course and possibly stay on the site an extra week before getting to see some family for the holidays. It will be another case of some extreme culture shock moving from one kind of world to another, even though there is so much in both environments that is similar.
Here are some pictures below of the course, taken on the last day. The first picture is of the class participants, just before we all went our separate ways (although in fact everyone still couldn't stand to leave each other so went to a nearby Chicago landmark restaurant, Exchequer's, instead...) and the second photo is of me with Ron and Ellen Bradley, the wonderful husband-and-wife team trainers who helped me out immeasurably this last month. Here is the site where they run their own SIT courses... http://www.globaltefl.org/

Chi-town!

I left the center and came back to the bustling city on an early Sunday morning... boy, city and country contrasts are always so interesting, no matter where in the world it happens to be. Here is one last shot of the Illinois Vipassana center, showing the dilipidated birdge leading over the small pond amidst the fall leaves, with the meditation hall behind. So, after waking up at 4.30 a.m., finishing the morning, I stepped out to a much colder Chicago just past 11 a.m., went to the condo, changed from meditation to work clothes, and exchanged bags, went to DePaul, and met the Trainers I'll be working with for this course. From then on, I had what has probably been the busiest six days of my life. The only thing I can recall that would even come close was the month intensive English course I taught in Japan to government employees. So busy, in fact, that I felt if I had a little bit more commute time it would come close to making two hours daily sitting nearly impossible... yikes! And such a different world to go out of come back. This ESL Teacher Training course is incredibly wholesome work and very inspiring to see the participants grow not only as teachers but also as individuals, but no matter how productive it is, it is just a completely different space than being aware of your sensations and not reacting to them. So it was challenging for a few days, trying to adjust as best I could from one to the other, and doing so with some pretty awful sleep nights thrown in! I don't know if it was the commotion of the city or the busy-ness of my course, but I could barely sleep and then was exhausted all day-- sometimes I found myself so busy I couldn't tell if I needed to start or stop eating! It's an urban existence... go down 15 flight of floors, walk through human and vehicular traffic, go up 17 floors, and start the work day.

But on the bright side, it has been a really fantastic experience to be involved in. I am training to be a Teacher Trainer, meaning I'm basically shadowing this course, moving more from a role of watching and observing to getting my feet wet and leading some sessions. It's the first time I've actually worked with fellow teachers, and after the Master's Program in Vermont, I feel like I have just a slightly greater insight than the class as far as the field goes, but still with loads to learn. It's also challenging-- but also quite enriching-- to be with participants who are so inquisitive and motivated to learn, and to find the best way to serve them, where there is still so much I feel I need to learn! Much different than a room of ESL students with varying motivations...

The most interesting aspect has been moving from being a student in the SIT mode just a few months ago, to having to portray this unique perspective on education myself. In some ways I feel like I'm an SIT missionary! Pushing forth the benefits of reflective teaching, the experiential learning cycle, classroom as community, and asking the infamous helps/hinders (that is, What do you find is helping your learning in this class? What is hindering it?) From almost Day 1, I felt like the classroom and the participants were almost identical to the particular style that existed in my own Master's program. It was such a curious feeling. The type of people who came to this course were so similar to those attracted to SIT, like any one of them could have switched places and fit in perfectly. It was really like watching the recreation of my whole experience in Vermont, but watching it from scratch, and seeing the same dynamics begin to form. They start their practice teaching before real ESL students on Monday, and after a Way Of Council, many of the same feelings were voiced I remember hearing before our internship period last winter.

And the White Sox! A ticker tape parade just outside my workplace... what a time to be in Chicago!!! The whole town is going wild, you can't turn a step without seeing some logo somewhere...

Here is a photo of my view of the lake from the 15th floor condo every morning...

Back home and another flight and sit...

I arrived back home in Colorado after the drive and was welcomed to the high altitude the following morning by discovering we had a gas leak and had to dig up a 50- foot section area of earth in order to get the pipe out. So we managed to do this, and somehow I fit in the time to unpack, pack again, and leave everything in order so as to exit the state a few days later. So a two hour drive to the Springs, a flight, enter O'Hare Airport and head down to the subway, 45 minutes later get out and discover myself in the middle of the downtown with skyscrapers all around. Denise met me and showed me to their nearby condo, my home for the next month. We chatted over dinner and went out afterwards for a small walk, going past DePaul University where I'll be working... about three blocks, 5-10 minutes!!! Feeling so much gratitude what can I say... some of the participants have over an hour each way for commute time. Thank goodness for that American Express washroom in Paris where my mom met Denise so many years ago! The next day I spent exploring my new city, which wasn't hard considering how central I was to be living and working. As you can see to the left here, one of the first things I found was the many interesting ways that the police officers find to patrol the city.

The famous Michigan Avenue is just parallel to the street I'm on, Wabash, along with the Art Institute of Chicago, many others museums and aqauriums and parks and things of that nature. Also the incredible architecture of the city, which has no rival as far as anything else I've seen in this country. There also has to be some kind of Chicago style-- and also is reflected in so many of the restaurants nearby that boast dozens of framed photos in the windows of celebrities from contemporary times as well as from many decades back. I even noticed a large framed portrait of Louis Armstrong as I walked by the McDonald's this morning! (You can see me in the picture above... I am the person on the far right, a green shirt)


A day later I walked to the office across the street from DePaul and met some fellow meditators to get a ride for the 2 hour trip to Rockford, near the Wisconsin border, to attend a 3 day Vipassana course. It was a beautiful center, just recently established, that has a capacity of about 50-60 students with the recent constructions of male and female dormitories. These are quite nice in that they offer private accomodations and near-private bathroom facilities to every student. A hard course battling loads and loads of agitation, short and sweet, enough to enjoy the fields upon fields of crops, red barns, grain silos, and farm equipment that extended in every direction. And nice to see some familiar faces from VMC here, and meet some new ones, the short course attracting those needing a little juice to their practice. Below here I'll add yet another photo to this entry, of the Illinois Vipassana center....

And back again...

We took a different route back, this time going through the Southwest: Arizona and New Mexico. It was about 100 miles longer, but the driving was easier and scenery more interesting. It would have been even more spectacular if we had a bit more time and could have taken a small side trip or two! There were numerous places just off the highway that looked incrediblly interesting for one reason or another, and often boasting great natural beauty (but what nature is not beautiful I ask!). One detour was right en route and we stopped to check it out, which was a very nice looking (and rather non-New Age) hot springs complex just north of Sante Fe.

The highway did pass through several Native American (or Indian) reseverations, and I was surprised how different some of these places looked from other sections of the highway. The most striking were the advertisement signs-- they were often many decades old, with outdated messages, and sometimes in actual tatters. Every once and a while an impeccably neat casino would materialize-- casinos are illegal in most of America but most Native America tribes have argued that their tribal lands are subject to different rules-- a strange recent phenomenon.

Oh, and here I am standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona!

The Valley of Angels

With minds a tad clearer and hearts more in the pure mode, we made our way to my grandparents' home in Los Angeles. They've lived in the same house for nearly 50 years. Complete surbana today, and sometimes when I'm in this city I tend to feel like it is like one quite large strip mall that extends block after block after... and funny to think when my grandparents moved in here, there were dirt lots and orange orchards around. It was especially great to get to LA with a block of time in silence beforehand-- or as much silence as a loud and distractive mind allows!-- than the alternative of 2-3 road wary days. I also appreciated it because it helped me to move further from being on the receiving to the giving end of service. My grandparents have provided so much for me during my life, and over time I began to realize it was becoming more my own role to be so selfless. But it wasn't as easy as I would hope, so strong were the memories of the secret cookie container in the garage. :) It was nice to feel just a small bit closer to meeting an obligation to be there for them in a similar way... but still so, so much to learn. (As you can see from the top picture, my grandfather still loves his cigars!!!

So the time passed with conversations, movies, all kinds of ethnic foods, meeting up with friends and family, helping my grandmother with the exceedingly complex new telephone, and looking at old photos, such as this one of my mom and grandfather at left. We also spent some time taking a picture or two ourselves in present day, a past time immensely enjoyed by my grandmother, as you can see here...




It was also a pleasure, actually, to have so much time. LA can be a little overwhelming for me, but with more than a few days to spare, I was able to observe these elements more clearly and react to them less. Even it means I would still advise profound consideration if one is actually going to head to the stores after instead of before noon. It was nice to have more time to adjust to it, remember the point of my visit, and get the most out of it. When it was finally time to leave, I really could have stayed longer!

Here is one last photo-- of our traditional New Year meal, with the delicious challah in the center of the table...

A drive, a sit, some views...

We left Colorado and took three days to drive across Utah and Nevada. An unthinkable amount of time for many of my friends across Europe and Asia, but nothing too out of the ordinary in our vast land of meandering highways and road wary travelers. We topped over Monarch Pass in Colorado and were treated to some early leave changes. Leaving Colorado at this time, one misses the beautiful change from summer to fall. Visible in many subtle ways inner and outer, it is most startling and apparent in the leaves. I grew up in Northern California, which doesn't really have four distinct seasons, and here I was headed to SoCal, which has even less of such a cycle-- it seems to go from pleasantly cool to a tad hot. I didn't learn to appreciate the magic of a four season adventure until I went to Japan, and every day seems to celebrate and acknowledge what one is moving from and towards... and complete food, dress, holidays, activities, and other such things to go along with it!

Skirting the Vegas traffic in that strange oasis, and then driving through some of the desert and having to solve some unexpected problems of a flat tire and loose front windshield (!). The later happened at the Nevada/California border, in a kind of surreal play-town with no reality attached to it (by the parking lot of Whiskey Pete's). I went to a "fashion center" where small ice creams sold for $6 with the hopeless goal of finding some Painter's Tape to at least hold everything through those hot desert winds until we could find a windshield repair place (a compassionate eavesdropper helped us out by giving some all-purpose duct tape, which saved the day).

And then the scenery finally improved going up California past Fresno, the incredible agricultural center of the entire region, and just around Yosemite National Park, to the California Vipassana Center (CVC). We spent 3-4 days here, wondering how bad Hurricane Rita was going to hit the Texas coast, and purifying minds in the process. A nice stay and a wonderful prep for Los Angeles!

Here is a picture of the meditation hall at CVC...

Hit the Road, Jack

After some nice summer days it's back on the road. My mom and I will take a small trip to attend another meditation course-- this time she'll be serving and I'll be sitting.

We had an early frost this year, meaning that the garden gave notice to stop producing. But there was some good news in all this... it meant that the tomatoes weren't going to get any riper. Not only is this fortunate for those of us who don't like ripe tomatoes, but it also meant that we had scores of green totatoes we didn't know what to do with. So my mom spent a day pickling them, and if you've never had homemade pickled green tomatoes, you're missing out! It was a day long process but made more than a dozen jars. We also had some fried green tomatoes, but I think the recipe used might need a little refining...

I am about fully prepared now for my SIT Teacher Training course in Chicago in October, and I'm happy as well to check out the Illinois Vipassana Center before and after. I had wanted to do my second course in Bangkok, but I just found out that it won't start until March. So I might try an earlier one in Northampton or Costa Rica... on verra.

A powerful read

Looking for a good read in a boat, on a train, in a car, or in a plane? I recommend this one, whether you are a gent or a dame! Seriously, this is a powerful (and scary!) read about where the world has gone in the last four years, that is, W.'s aim...

(From New York Times Magazine, 9/11/05)

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/11/magazine/11OSAMA.html

Also, these are two very interesting magazines that had come out recently...

The Believer and n+1

At the cabin

A few years back we built a cabin up in the Rocky Mountains, near the center of the state of Colorado. It's in a place that's barely even on the map. It's not really in a town, and there aren't really any road to go up to it... four wheel drive in the summer, snowmobiles in the winter, and in between, you're kind of out of luck. The nearest "town" is a ghost town named Bonanza, where quite some time ago there were many mines all around. Their remnants are still around, near the base where you start to head up the mountain... old mining facilities covered with sediment, broken down houses, old gravestones, and other signs.

The cabin is a beautifully built one room abode, with the fire in the cookstove providing both warmth and food, and the essential pot of tea. There's not much to do, and of course that's the point (even though some people like to rig radios and TV/VCRs to work, though I can't imagine why). The meditation sittings especially, you can feel the difference, feel where you are and the less distractions. Distractions like writting silly blog entries and photos :)

As for the time when nature calls, here are the facilities (toilets for you non-American), though with recent raids by packrats. So many kinds of wildlife up here-- and as you can see I got into trying to get some close-ups of insects. I like this because it allows you see how much detail nature provides even in the smallest and subtlest of features (or small and subtle to our big human eyes).

So the time was spent doing some reading-- doing LOTS of reading, and for me, doing a bit of work to get prepared for my Teacher Training course in Chicago. Writing longhand and then to work at the computer later, which actually I have been working solidly at this week as my family is away in Kansas City for more WWII Bombing Group reunions (similar why we went to Czech). Whew! So much computer in the last few days, especially compared to the week before at the cabin!

Some weeks in Colorado just as the weather is changing, and fall brings in a breathtaking array of colors all around. Then I might be in California for a short while before my (incredibly busy) TESOL course in downtown Chicago. Hopefully some sitting at both those places!!!